Have no fear, the mansplainers are here.
When it comes to housework and parenthood, one parent typically shoulders the burden more than the other. It’s a thankless burden, unless you’re a man. Then it’s a “look what I did!” affair, where some proudly show off their vacuuming and dish-washing accomplishments, eagerly awaiting praise and validation for “helping.” Meredith Masony of “That’s Inappropriate” recently posted a now-viral Facebook video where she vented about an experience with her husband doing housework.
Meredith came home from church and didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, but her husband had completed a few chores and insisted on showing her his housework skills for a little praise.
He listed all the regular, mundane tasks we all do everyday like vacuuming, wiping down counters, mopping, blah blah blah. He then wonders why she didn’t notice right away. “Did you like it? Did I do a good job?” he asks. She thanked him accordingly and that was that.
But the whole ordeal lead to Masony wondering why her husband needed validation for stuff she (and most of us) do all the time. So she opened up the question to her Facebook followers to shed some light on why this is, and boy, did she get some answers.
Have no fear ladies, the mansplainers are here.
Some responses were funny:
Well, we as men often feel underappreciated when it comes to housework because we can’t really do it very well. So, when we accomplish something that women do so well, we need acknowledgement. Now, I gotta find my wife to tell her I was able to wipe my own ass this morning. She said I’m growing up too fast.
Some were even kind of reasonable:
Everyone should be acknowledged for the things they do. At home, work, church, whatever, wherever. People don’t actively seek praise but feel valued when we give it, makes the world a better place.
And then there were these guys. Yes, the mansplainers arrived to fill us all in on household harmony.
The comments from the fellas in the peanut gallery start out lukewarm and only mildly condescending:
If you went to his job…and organized all his stuff on his desk before he came back and said nothing you would say ‘Did you notice that I organized your desk’. Same concept…it’s the fact that the way the house is separated if you are usually the one who does A and he does B and one day you help out with B you probably want to be acknowledged.
Then we go straight for the nosedive into “You should thank your selfless man who allows you out of your cage sometimes when he’s not too busy doing Manly Things” territory:
So you had time to go to church and the gym today, and your man worked on something at home that needed to be done. He did something to help you out so you didn’t have to after doing two things you wanted to that day. What about all the things he does all the time you don’t do…i.e. car maintenance, yard maintenance, finances. Works both ways.
And then there’s the guy who thinks a woman getting a haircut is the same thing as using deodorant and expecting praise:
I’ll remember this the next time my wife asks me ‘Do you notice something different about me?’ And she has an obvious haircut. I’ll point out she doesn’t need praise for personal hygiene…then I’ll tell her I don’t notice anything different.
Then there’s this guy. Sorry but he lost us right at the get-go with “Girls.” Girls, he says. GIRLS.
Girls, you are making this too hard. After he cuts the grass and gets the yard in shape meet him in the shower with a 6 pack. Your man will cut the grass in the winter with snow on the ground. With that knowledge move it inside with something like vacuuming or dishes. Work with us.
And of course, the piècesde résistance:
God forbid you don’t thank a woman for cooking a meal.
Yeah, so, obviously this debate isn’t going to be resolved anytime soon. Basically it boils down to this: whatever works for you and your partner is what’s best for you. There’s no need to go full-throttle on the Praise Train when your partner mops up a spilled sippy cup or sweeps a messy floor, but saying “thank you” and showing appreciation for one another can go a long way in keeping things happy and harmonious.
We all like to see hard our work recognized by the person we love because it feels good. The end.